Most women are surprised to realize that even a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away.Like a stretched rubber band, he will distance himself and then come back all on his own.Without this understanding of differences, a man may become impatient because he is sudderly available to pick up the intimacy at whatever level of intensity it was when he pulled away and she is not. Even though this closeness if fulfilling to a man, he will inevitably begin to go through an inner shift. Having temporarily fulfilled his hunger for intimacy, he now feels his hunger to be indenpendent, to be on his own. He may feel he has become too dependent or may not know why he feels a need to pull away.Why Men Pull Away Men begin to feel their need for autonomy and independence after they have fulfilled their need for intimacy. Why Women Panic As Jeff instinctively pulls away without any explanation to Maggie(or to himself), Maggie reacts with fear. She thinks she has done something wrong and has turned him off.If she doesn't understand that men are different in this way, she may have a tendency to mistrust his sudden desire for intimacy and push him away. When a man springs back, before a woman can open up again to him she generally wants and needs time and conversation to reconnect.This transition can be more graceful if a man understands a woman my need more time to regain the same level of intimacy-especially if she felt hurt when he pulled away. This is exactly what happens to a man's desire to get close after intimacy has been achieved.
Without seeing how she was preventing Jeff from finding his passion, Maggie could easily assume that Jeff didn't love her.
WHAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT MENIf understood, this male intimacy cycle enriches a relationship, but because it is misunderstood it creates unnecessary problems. Maggie could not understand why he had suddenly pulled away. Maggie realized that when she was trying to get close while Jeff was trying to pull away, she was actually preventing him from stretching his full distance and then springing back.
She told me, "One minute he was so attentive, and then the next he didn't even want to talk to me. By running after his, she was preventing him from ever feeling that he needed her and wanted to be with her.
Without getting the chance to pull away, Jeff would lose touch with hsi desire and passion to be close.
He could easily assume that he no longer loved Maggie.
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When a man spring back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. She thought she had done something wrong and blamed herself. In addition she learned why he was pulling away and how gracefully to deal with it.